Random Musings: Take 1

Hello my lovelies. Right now, I am just resting in bed with a hot water bottle on my stomach and my computer taking up my lap space as I’m waiting for my painkillers to kick in. Don’t you hate it when it’s that time of the month when being a woman absolutely sucks? I sure do. So, while I’m waiting to KO, I decided to just have a chat. I have a lot of things on my mind that I feel like writing and sharing with you all. I don’t do this often enough when my mind is heavy with thoughts, so this is something I want to really start doing. I hope you all don’t mind.

To start off, I’ve been thinking a lot about making YouTube videos. I have learned so much from YouTube when it comes to hair, makeup, and overall beauty that I feel compelled to add my own videos in the mix. But sometimes I think, “Why should I even bother? What do I have to offer that isn’t already on the wonderful world of YouTube?” I’m sure there are other newbies out there that feel the same as I do. As a member of the YouTube audience, I am anxious to get into converting into “content creator” status on YouTube. I constantly tell myself, “alright, when you get this new camera and this new set-up, you’re recording a video!” Then, not even a second later, I tell myself, “Shuna, now you know if anyone saw your videos you’d be embarrassed. Your family would never let you live this down!” I don’t know why I am like this. I guess it is in my nature to think the worst about things, no matter how trivial the “thing” is. I’ve just been so inspired lately to sit my ass in a rolling chair in front of a window and recording a hair video or something. I blame everyone that I am subscribed to for this, LOL. I think I just need to build my confidence up before I get on camera. I’m a little afraid for people, except those who know me, to hear me speak. It’s not because I can’t speak; I just have an accent that even I can hear and sometimes it can be hard to understand me. I think before I record ANYTHING, I need to work on speaking clearly, fluently, and find a way to get around my Southern accent. Until then, you all will deal with my writing…right?

Speaking of YouTube, does anyone else hate the comments section too? I’ve gone on  many a rant on my twitter about how much I hate YouTube comments. People can be so cruel and so hateful towards someone they don’t even know; it’s ridiculous. So many people feel the need to attack someone so viciously over small things. “You didn’t blend your outer corner, you suck! I wish you would just go cut yourself and die!” That may seem like an exaggeration, but trust me, I’ve seen some things like that on YouTube. I have seen many a video from different beauty vloggers when they have disabled the comment section. I used to think, “that means people who wanted to leave a nice comment can’t leave one. That’s not fair!” But nowadays, I don’t see how more beauty vloggers aren’t disabling the comments section. It’s crazy. You could be watching a video about lipstick dupes and in the comment section, you’ll see people arguing about religion, telling each other to shut the hell up and other stupid things. In the middle of these Internet fights, you’ll see a comment that actually pertains to the video, but those are few and far between. I think beauty vloggers that let shit like that roll off their backs and keep doing what they are doing are strong; knowing my sensitive butt, I would have either cried about it or gone the hell off on EVERYONE. I think this is what is keeping me off YouTube more so than confidence. My patience for foolishness is at absolute zero and I won’t be able to deal with it.

You know what’s funny? When people think one way about me and are shocked to find out the truth. I was talking to a friend of mine about this sometime last week about how I am perceived in the eyes some people who know me. On the outside, I’m a girly girl. I love hair, I love makeup, I love looking and smelling good. I love nail polish, heels, dresses, and skirts. All are things that people see when they look at me. It’s hilarious to me when they find out I love animes like the Dragonball series or Gundam Wing and shows like that. It’s even funnier when they realize I curse like a sailor, I belch like a drunken man (not intentional, but still funny), and I play video games. Right now, God of War has to be my favorite series to play. If I told my guy friends that, I’d go from “girly girl” to “home girl.” Does anyone else have friends like that? I know I’m not the only one, haha. I don’t know why revealing that I like more things other than makeup and hair would be a shock to some of my friends, but it’s always great seeing their mouths drop or their eyes widen a little bit in surprise. I get a kick out of it.

Ugh…I’m so lazy. I have so many posts saved up as drafts right now that I really wanted to do, but I never got around to it. I still have blog posts from when I got my Influenster VoxBoxes that need to be submitted. I am pathetic when it comes to blogging. It’s not that I mean to be a slacker. I just can’t keep myself focused enough to really sit down, take pictures before I wear the products, do swatches and THEN sit down to type up the blog posts and edit the pictures. On the days when I am about doing all of that, everything is perfect. I’m usually eating in-between typing a blog post or swatching something. You guys remember the CoverGirl Blast Flipsticks review I did not too long ago? Well, guess what? I was actually in the middle of doing a pictorial on the “Fall Carnival” look I previewed on my Instagram. Y’all know that pictorial was never finished right? How do you all keep yourself motivated to blog thoroughly? Whatever you all do, please let me know. Because I really need some encouragement. I have a few makeup series that I want to do, but I need the push in finishing them. The ones I do have on my blog now, I’m going to draft those again. I feel like if I can’t complete the series as a whole, I don’t want the other two posts up. I’ll figure something out. I just need to find a way to convince myself that finishing blog posts shows how productive I am. Y’all pray for me and my scatter brain when it comes to blogging.

I’m starting to yawn now and my pain is slowly going away for the night, which means my painkillers are working. So I’m going to end this Random Musing for the first installment. I think I will continue with this as a feature on my blog. I really like being up and typing things like this, just to get things off my brain. Normally, I don’t have anyone to talk to at this hour, so I’m always up thinking until I finally drift off. At least this way, I can share my thoughts. Anyway, that’s enough for this. If you read all of this post, thank you. I know I went in different directions, but I typed my thoughts as they came to me. I hope you all enjoyed my Random Musings and hopefully, I will do more here on this blog. Don’t worry, I will still make it a point to post beauty, hair, and fashion things on this blog; after all, this IS its purpose. I wish you all a good morning/afternoon/night and I will speak to you all later. ♥

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